Red Long Johns, One Well, and a Schoolteacher
by Hoss' Sweetheart
Summary: Hoss finds himself in an Embarrassing situation brought on by an accident. Prequel. Joe is 7 and Hoss is 13. Adam is 19. Please Read and review! I don't own any of the characters and I am making no money off of this.


"But Pa, I'm powerful hungry!" Hoss said.

"If you had been more careful, young man," Ben explained, "you would be eating breakfast right now and then getting ready for church."

"Yes, Pa." Hoss lowered his eyes.

"Now go get yourself cleaned up," Ben instructed. Hoss made a move to step through the front door, but Ben placed his hands firmly on his thirteen year old son's shoulders. "You're not dragging that mud inside the house." Ben knew Hop Sing wouldn't be happy if Hoss clomped through the living room and left brown sludge everywhere.

Hoss pouted. "Will you bring me out some clean clothes?" He asked hopefully.

His father smiled. "Never thought I'd hear _those_ words out of your mouth. I'll send Little Joe out with some clothes."

With a quick dejected nod of thanks, Hoss turned around and slunk off to the yard to wash up.

"Joe, take these outside to your brother," Ben said, handing the little boy, Hoss' clothes.

"Sure, Pa!" Joe said. He raced out the front door with the bundle in his hands. It wasn't often his father asked him to do specific tasks besides "don't get dirty," "don't tease your brothers," and "don't shout in the house." Maybe this time he could prove that he was useful.

Hoss stood in front of the horse trough, thinking. Pa said for him to get cleaned up. He never said how. Seeing as he had to get ready for church and he still hadn't eaten breakfast, dunking himself in the trough might be a whole lot quicker then cleaning off all the mud, at the Well. Maybe he would get to eat after all! He glanced around to make sure he was alone and then he peeled off all his clothes. Except of course, for his long johns.

It was still too early in the morning for the sun to have warmed the water up, but gritting his teeth, Hoss stuck a leg in. He was tempted to pull it back out, but seeing how his pant leg was already soaked up to his knee, he didn't bother. Holding his breath, he brought his other leg in and dropped down inside the water with a violent shiver.

"Hoss, can I do that too?" Joe asked, excitedly.

Hoss shook his head. "Nope! Pa wouldn't take a liking to you doing this before church."

Joe frowned. "You're doing it."

"Yeah, but I got a reason." Hoss wiped away mud from his chin. "It ain't everyday I get into a fight with a mud pit!"

"Looks like the mud pit won!" Joe said, with a laugh. The clothes that he was holding slid down until an arm of Hoss' shirt was inched away from the dirt.

"Watch it there, Short Shanks," Hoss said, pointing a finger at his shirt. "I hafta wear that to church. Wouldn't do no good if'n it was as dirty as my other clothes."

Joe looked around for a place to stash them while Hoss finished washing up. "I wish I could get into a fight with a mud pit," Joe said, wistfully, as he walked over to the water Well.

"Nah, you wouldn't want to do that, 'specially on Sunday. Means you miss breakfast," Hoss grumbled.

Joe didn't care. Most of the time he didn't feel like eating breakfast, anyway. There were too many other important things to do. Like chasing bugs, watching his big brothers work on the ranch, and generally anything else he could think of that included the word "fun."

He placed Hoss' bundle of clothes on the rim of the Well. It would keep them dry until he had to hand them over. Looking down at the ground Joe gasped in delight. Right near his foot was a humongous grasshopper. Stooping down, he managed to cover it with both of his hands. Then, as carefully as he could, he scooped up the bug. He stood up, quickly. He wanted to show Hoss his find. A little off balance from standing up that fast, he fell against the well's edge. As if it was happening in slow motion, Little Joe turned and watched as Hoss' clean clothes slip over the side of the Well and disappeared. Forgetting the cricket momentarily, Joe flung out his hands to trying to catch the clothes even after they vanished. He leaned over staring into the blackness, his heart racing. He felt horrible! Not only for letting Hoss' apparel slip over the edge, but when he tried to grasp at them, he had flung the cricket over the side. He wondered briefly if crickets screamed. Maybe they did, but their voices were too small to be heard by people.

"Joe, can you bring me my clothes now?" Hoss called. Joe glanced over in his brother's direction.

"Hoss…" Joe said as he walked over, hesitantly. Hoss looked over at him.

"Yeah?"

"I found a cricket," Joe said. Tears rolled down his cheeks and he sniffed.

"Did it bite ya?" Hoss asked, confused. His brother was never one to be scared of bugs, or anything else for that matter. He sat up straighter in the water and waited for an answer.

"No," Joe mumbled. "I dropped it in the Well."

Hoss crinkled his nose. He didn't like the idea of getting something to drink and having a dead cricket floating around in the pail. "It's ok, Little Joe. I just reckon folks will have to be careful about what they're drinking. He chuckled at the thought of Adam getting the cricket. He would love to see that! The smirk on his face died as he heard what Joe said next.

"I also dropped your clothes in the Well…"

"What!" Hoss jumped up out of the trough, his bright red long johns dripping and making small puddles on the ground around his bare feet.

"It was an accident," Joe cried. He followed a soaked Hoss over to the Well.

"I know," Hoss groaned. 'It's no use making Joe more upset then he already is,' he reasoned. He gave Joe a comforting pat on the shoulder. "We'll figure out something," he reassured. Leaning over, he peered down inside the Well. "Maybe if'n we drop the bucket in such a way, it'll catch the clothes," Hoss suggested.

Little Joe sighed. "I hope so."

"We gotta try," Hoss said. Pushing himself up, he let the bucket drop slowly, directing it so that it was more to the side then right in the middle.

"Do ya feel anything," Joe asked, anxiously.

"I don't know," Hoss said. "I sure can't see anything!" He started to wind the rope back up, and watched as the bucket made it's way slowly to the top. When it finally came into view there were no clothes on the bucket. Hoss let it drop and tried again. And again. And again.

Finally, what felt like hours later, Hoss straightened. His back was tight from all the work, and sweat ran down his face. Without warning there was a shriek. Hoss' body jolted at the noise and Little Joe let out a yell of surprise. Swinging around, Hoss spotted what made the offending shriek. His face went as red as his long johns and he gaped at the sight before him. There as pretty as you please, was Adam. Not such a problem in itself. But hanging onto his arm was Miss Davis, Hoss' schoolteacher. As quick as his brain would respond he snagged little Joe by his shoulders and dragged Joe in front of himself, and ducked down.

Of all the things that morning Adam might have expected to see, the last one on the list was Hoss standing in front of the Well, dressed in nothing but his underclothes. Adam wanted to throw his head back and laugh. The laugh died in his throat as he saw Hoss' mortified expression. In a second Adam had jumped in front of the hysterical Miss Davis. Gently grasping her elbows, he turned her around.

"Did I show you the work we did on the barn?" He asked, as he guided her away from the scene.

Hoss took the opportunity his brother gave him, and dove behind the Well.

"What's she doing here?" Hoss finally managed to groan. His long johns were covered in dirt and he was breathing like he had just been chased down by a prize bull. He was glad that the morning was warm. Crouching behind the Well in soaked underwear didn't do much in the way of promoting good health. It went pretty far in the way of leaving lasting impressions, though.

Joe didn't have an answer for Hoss' question, so he just shrugged. "Do you want me to get Pa?"

Hoss shook his head no. "What we have to do is get back into the house."

"Okay," Joe replied. "I'll make sure Miss Davis ain't coming!" He stood up and looked around. "All clear, Hoss," he said.

Hoss let out a sigh of relief and stood up, cautiously peering around. Once he was positive the coast was clear he darted out and ran to the door. Little Joe was on his heels and slammed the door behind them as soon as they both crossed the threshold.

"Are you all cleaned-" Ben stopped short, as he looked up from his desk and observed his scantily clad boy. "Hoss! what's the meaning of this?"

"It's kinda hard to explain, Pa." Hoss shivered. He heard the sound of laughter and "Hop Sing, you are a darling!" pierce the air. Hoss flung himself under his father's desk as fast as he could.

Ben was about to say something when looking up he saw Miss Davis walking out of the dining room, with Adam beside her glancing around, anxiously.

"Adam!" Ben shouted, and then at the startled look Miss Davis gave, caught himself before he yelled a second time. "It's important that I talk to you, and…um…," he glanced down where Hoss was trying to fit in near his legs, "I need to talk to you too, Miss Davis." He tried not to sound intimidating. "I want to discuss…" He struggled to find something to say. "Hoss' school work!" He said, finally, adding emphasis with a firm nod of his head.

"Why don't you sit down?" Adam offered the schoolteacher, politely.

"No, Adam!" Ben exclaimed. "I mean…while we talked I wanted to show Miss Davis the work we did on the barn."

Adam pasted on a fake smile, "Pa, she already saw the barn."

"Oh," Ben said. "Did she see the new palomino you bought at the auction?"

"No, I don't believe she did," Adam replied, realization dawning on him as he watched his father dart meaningful looks at him and. He thought he saw a flash of red peeking through the desk area.

"Good, then lets go," Ben said, leading the way to the door.

Joe handed his brother the hairbrush that had been sitting on the dresser. Hoss took it and carefully ran it through his hair. A sour look had taken over his face and he let out a heartfelt groan.

"Are ya sick, Hoss?" Joe asked, concern etched in his voice.

"Not in the regular way," Hoss replied.

"What kind of sick are you?" Joe pulled himself up onto Hoss' bed and sat down next to him.

"It's the kind of sick a man gets when something happens to him, that he wished never happened in the first place."

"You mean Miss Davis, seeing you in your…" Joe's voice trailed off as Hoss' face turned pale.

"Yeah," Hoss grimaced.

The ride to church was quiet. Hoss and Little Joe sat in the back of the buggy and Miss Davis rode up front with Ben. Hoss tried to scrunch himself into the back as far as he possibly could. He could here Miss Davis babble on about her students and how they were coming along in their studies.

It was a relief for Ben when they dropped Miss Davis off at her home. By that time he knew how every boy who attended class was doing in their studies. He knew who was passing, who was failing, and who was just making it by.

"Hoss, why don't you come up here and sit with me," Ben offered, patting the seat next to him. Hoss reluctantly climbed over beside his father.

"About what happened today" Ben said. He looked over at Hoss.

"It was an accident!" Hoss moaned. "I didn't expect her to be standing there!"

Ben held up his hand. "Adam told me what happened."

Hoss frowned, "Why did Adam have to bring her over here, anyway?"

"She didn't have a ride and Adam was being polite. Besides, it was all planned out last week. You should pay attention a little more to what is going on around you," Ben said, patiently.

Hoss looked at the floorboard and sucked in his breath. Ben patted his son's shoulder.

By the time they made it home Adam was already in the barn. He was unsaddling his horse when he heard the buggy. Stepping over to the barn entrance he called Hoss over.

"I want to talk to you about Miss Davis," Adam said, when Hoss reluctantly stepped over.

"I wish you fellers would stop bringing her up!" Hoss shouted. "It's over. Can't everyone move on? He was about to march away when Adam grabbed the back of his vest and pulled him backwards.

"Miss Davis didn't see a thing!" Adam said.

Hoss whirled around, "What?" That one word was filled to the brim with hope.

"She didn't scream because of your long johns," Adam explained, a quick smile springing to his face at the recollection. "She didn't even see your long johns!"

"Why'd she holler like that, then" Hoss asked suspiciously. He wanted to believe his brother, but he didn't dare.

"Because she saw a grasshopper near her foot," Adam said. This time the smile overtook his face and he let out a laugh. "Never knew that she hated bugs that much."

Hoss' knees felt weak. His teacher really didn't see him in his underclothes? He stared into Adam's face.

Adam, interpreting Hoss' look slapped him on the arm, "I'm telling you the truth! As soon as we walked into the barn, Miss Davis said she was sorry for screaming, but that giant grasshoppers have always made her react that way."

This time Hoss threw his head back in laughter, too. Then just as quick as he did that, he scowled. "Why didn't you tell me sooner, Adam? It woulda saved me a whole heap of worrying."

"I didn't get the chance. Miss Davis was practically hanging on my arm the whole time," Adam said.

Hoss grinned. "I think she's taken sort of a shine to you." Then he shuddered, "Glad it's not me!"

"Thanks," Adam muttered. He looked up when Little Joe ran into the barn.

"Hoss! Pa is going to rig something up and were gonna get your clothes out of the Well." He looked at Hoss and Adam's smiling faces and asked, "What?"

"Nothing, Little Joe," Adam said. "We're just glad about something."

"What are you glad about?" Joe asked.

"You know when Miss Davis screamed?" Hoss asked.

"Yeah," Little Joe said, nodding. "You would have thought she never saw long johns before!"

"That's just it, Little Buddy!" Hoss said swinging Joe up into the air, causing him to yell with delight. "She didn't see me in my long johns!" Hoss put Joe back on the ground.

"What was she hollering about then?" Joe asked. He would never be able to understand girls, and he never wanted to!

"A cricket was on her foot," Adam laughed.

"You mean just a plain old cricket caused her to belly ache…" He stopped. Looking up at Adam he said, "She had a cricket on her foot?"

"Yeah," Hoss replied.

"Yes!" Little Joe whooped. "I'm not a murder!" Hoss and Adam watched in confusion as their youngest brother raced out of the barn.


End file.
